The Telegraph claims that Gordon Brown’s spot of bother with ‘colleagues’ over the past week was an attempted coup “with a degree of co-ordination and timing.”

After the Chipmunk’s resignation and according to Labour sources, Miss Flint, the Europe minister, was meant to go next. “We are absolutely certain Caroline was inked in for the 10pm slot on Thursday which was in fact used by James (Purnell),” a Labour MP close to the party’s whips office said.

Help was at hand for Brown: “What had thwarted the plotters was a counter-coup led by Peter Mandelson, Mr Brown’s former sworn enemy who has become his leading Cabinet protector since being brought back as Business Secretary last autumn.”

As for the reshuffle: “The key early move was to get Mr Johnson into the Home Office, binding him in to Mr Brown and depriving rebels, at least temporarily, of their figurehead.”

No wonder they are so ruddy useless. It becomes clear; they make legislation based on the often bizarre notions of focus groups, fake charities, quangos, the EU and the UN because they are too busy infighting to spend time running the country themselves.

There are now seven peers among the 33 ministers allowed to attend Cabinet meetings. Is this the ‘democratic socialism’ those campaigning for Labour last week feel happy about?

I am looking forward to those EU election results enormously…