1. The Conservatives will win a May election. Prime Minister David Cameron will tell us how much he cares about a fair society and giving help to hard-working families. It will be just like another Gordon Brown. People will pull their hair out.

2. There will be more ice in the Arctic Ocean this summer, continuing the trend, and so we will be subjected to ever more elaborate scams to control and tax us in the name of ‘saving the planet’.

3. Lots of films will be remakes of old classics, but not nearly as good

4. Lots of songs will be cover versions of old classics and be not nearly as good as the originals.

5. The first magazine dedicated to blogging will be launched and be called something really exciting like Blogging Monthly.

6. The EU will start down the road of making all flags other than the EU flag illegal.

7. Tony Blair will finally be arrested for treason and war crimes. He will ‘escape’ and go into hiding in Cliff Richard’s house in the Caribbean. Unfortunately, the British Government is so pathetic at negotiating extradition agreements, that we will not be able to get the bugger back.

8. The National Secular Society will demand that the national anthem is abandoned due to the references to God. Our new ‘national’ anthem will be ‘Ode to Joy’.

9. Ant and Dec will get engaged. The Royal Mail will issue a commemorative stamp.

10.  The Christmas Number 1 will go to Cliff Richard featuring Tony Blair on steel drums.

(Okay, I started running out of ideas at no. 6!)