Actually, it’s a belated “happy birthday,” as it was a year ago yesterday that the baby was born which would be known as ConDem. Tory sperm had met LibDem egg and a strange chimera grew: a creature that could simultaneously be conservative and liberal, supposed opposites.
On the face of it, these differences would seem impossible to reconcile, but fortunately for the hideous-looking beast, the conservative side wasn’t conservative and the liberal part wasn’t liberal.
But whatever was to happen, the ConDem would surely be an improvement on the Brown Gorgon.
Or would it?
The beast soon fell passionately in love with the giant bloodsucking leech called EU. This came as no surprise, despite ConDem’s dad pretending to play hard to get before the election. The Dave part of this pushmi-pullyu clone soon forgot about his cast-iron guarantee and the Clegg head had always loved the idea of being dominated.
“Four legs good, two legs bad!”
Or as the first of the “Seven Commandments” in Animal Farm says: “Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.”
That sounds like a good summary of ConDem’s policy.