I will be writing about more serious stuff later, of which there seems to be an abundance at the moment, but we all need a laugh, whatever’s going on. One of my favourite things to do on the internet is find out how people have come to this blog. This morning, someone arrived at this post by searching on Google for is it illegal to wipe nose while driving. The EU is famous for inventing ridiculous regulations, but barking mad legislation has been passed by lawmakers for centuries. I was inspired to check these weird laws:
In Oklahoma, you can be arrested for making ugly faces at a dog.
In South Carolina it is legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
It’s a long time to wait if she’s annoyed you on Monday.
In New York, the penalty for jumping off a building is: Death.
Nice to see the law of gravity being taken seriously in the Big Apple.
In Pennsylvania, it’s against the law to tie a dollar bill on a string on the ground and pull it away when someone tries to pick it up.
Use a ten dollar bill. It’ll be even funnier.
In France, it is against the law to sell an “E.T” doll. They have a law forbidding the sale of dolls that do not have human faces.
There can’t be a doll of Nicolas Sarkozy.
In Louisiana, biting someone with your natural teeth is considered “simple assault,” but biting someone with your dentures is “aggravated assault.”
Especially when your pitbull terrier has borrowed your false teeth.
In Florida, it is illegal to fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
“Officer, that man’s just farted. Can’t you smell it?”
“Whoever smelt it dealt it, buddy. I’m taking you in.”
In Samoa, it’s a crime to forget your own wife’s birthday.
The penalty is fifty lashes (of her tongue). He won’t forget next year.
In London, England it is illegal for a City cab to carry rabid dogs or corpses.
That’s what buses are for.
In England, it is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
There is plenty of room outside for gallows.
In England, it is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the Queen upside down.
Isn’t it an act of treason to allow one’s realm to fall into enemy hands? Just asking.
In Indiana, it’s against the law to dress ‘Barbie’ in ‘Ken’s’ clothes.
At last, a sensible one.
In Australia, it’s illegal to name any animal you plan to eat.
Skippy goulash, anyone?
In New Jersey, answering a traffic cop who asks “Do you know why I pulled you over?” by saying,“If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you” is an automatic $300 fine.
Not famous for their sense of humour, then?
In York, it is legal to kill a Scotsman within the ancient city boundary, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.
Well, that’s all right then.
In Italy, anyone considered “obese” is forbidden from wearing polyester.
Lycra it is, then.
In Montana, it’s illegal to tear a phone book in half.
Drat! I can’t perform my party piece in Montana. I’ll have to crush a grape instead.
In Michigan, it is illegal to chain an alligator to a fire hydrant.
I can see how that might be important.
In Victoria. Australia after mid day on Sunday, it’s illegal to wear pink hot pants.
So, you’d better change out of them after church.
In Connecticut, night watchmen are forbidden from drinking decaf coffee while working.
Night watchmen drink proper coffee, which is why they never fall asleep on the job.
In France, it’s illegal to name a pig Napoleon.
In Australia too, if you plan on eating the porker.
In Indonesia, the punishment for masturbation is death by decapitation.
In Florida having sexual intercourse with a porcupine is illegal.
But Spinewall are trying to have the law changed.
In Oklahoma, it is against the law to have a sleeping donkey in your bathtub after 7 PM.
Give it plenty of coffee to keep it awake. Not decaf.
In Ohio, it is against state law to get a fish drunk.
The punishment is a hefty fin.
In Chico, California, the law states that anybody who detonates a nuclear device within the city limits is liable to a fine of $500.
Tough on crime…
In Minnesota, it is against the law to hang male and female underwear together on the same washing line.
Including Barbie and Ken’s.
I would just like to thank the person who performed that Google search which made this post possible!