I only just scraped in at number 48, but I should be promoted to 47 as Al Jahom has admitted to not being Scottish. He says, I just happen to support Scottish independence for English reasons. I don’t know why he wants a weakened Union as long as we remain part of the EU. That’s not going to do England any favours at all. Or Scotland.

At least I beat most of the several blogging Scottish MPs, MSPs and Councillors. Tom Harris was numero uno for the third year running and a Cllr Fraser Macpherson, who is a LibDem Councillor in Dundee, was in 18th place.

The deserved winner, in my opinion, moved up a place into second spot: Underdogs Bite Upwards. Old Leggy has a handle on most things and writes with wit and style.

Glad to see Subrosa is also in the Top 10 and The Marmalade Sandwich a new entry at number 30.

So, thank you again.

Strike a light, guv’nor. It’s nearly a quarter of a cent’ry old. Well, scuff my old boots!

Source. Thanks to Dave Gorman for tweeting it.

For now, here is a bit of my garden at 10 o’clock this morning. The photo really doesn’t do it justice as the strong purples and lilacs of the foxgloves and other flowers haven’t come out well, but the poppies are the real eye-catcher in this area (there are more this side of the camera). To get political for a moment, I can’t help being reminded of the senseless waste of lives in the “British” Government’s wars of aggression and corporate empire: the beauty of God and nature versus the corrupted spirit of man.

I just want to point out that the garden was already laid out when I moved here in 2008. I am most definitely not in possession of green fingers, but I know I am very fortunate to be able to look out on a beautiful garden lovingly created by a previous owner.

I’m sure Labour would have got around to increasing my council tax for the nice view. Why should the fact that it is private property matter? Smoking is banned in private clubs, pubs and everywhere else. Private homes run as B&B’s are told who they must allow onto their property.

I have a lovely garden which someone else planned and I pay for its upkeep. Clearly, I ought to be punished for being able to enjoy something this nice…

It’s a bit embarrassing, but my reply to Leg-iron was actually the 2,000th comment, so I win the £2,000 prize.

And the winner is.... me!

He says that he only does this trick in public because the laughter helps him cope with the pain.

Now, Keaton Simons always gives his best – even when at a friend’s party while wearing a tiara!…

Politicians – always making promises they can’t keep. Brian Walden interviews Neil Kinnock and Cecil Parkinson. Sort of…

I went to see Paul Simon at the SECC in Glasgow in 1991. I was starstruck when he was on the stage – just him and his guitar – singing Homeward Bound. I was thinking, wow, here’s one of the world’s most famous singers singing one of his most famous songs. For a change, here he is dueting with Willie Nelson.

Those nice people at mybillboard.net have again gone to the trouble of enabling us to make our own, more realistic, posters and pledge cards.

Here is mine. I intend to fisk the real pledge card later today.

The Terms and Conditions include these words of wisdom…

It’s called having a laugh, but don’t tell the ‘authorities’ or they might want to have a word.

For example, the bastardisation of the word equality seems to be limitless. Now, it is vegans who are the latest folk to be in need of some sort of protection. From what, I don’t know. Perhaps leather seats in public places will be banned. I have never been a vegan, but I tried being a veggie for a few months. It opened up a new world of culinary delights. I’m not being sarcastic, by the way! I made a cracking vegetarian lasagne with aubergine, courgettes, mushrooms and of course onions. I concocted homemade burgers using veggie mince and cooked white rice in roughly equal quantities. Add a chopped onion, bind with egg and add soy sauce to colour the rice and the cooked burger was “meaty” enough to put on a roll and cover with ketchup like the real thing.

The egg makes this recipe useless for vegans, so I guess I must be guilty of discrimination by writing about it without considering the hurt I may cause to them. I can’t say I found myself discriminated against as a vegetarian, however I have always been in a particular culinary minority – well since the age of five or six – which is subject to an incredible amount of discrimination and ignorance.

I am a person who does not take butter or margarine on sandwiches and I do feel hard done by because practically everywhere I go where sandwiches are served, they are buttered.

When Cranmer learned that vegans are to enjoy the same protection against discrimination as religious groups, he suggested,

And if they, why not vegetarians, non-dairy consumers, wheat-eschewers and teetotallers.

I love cheese, but I hate butter. Surely this makes me an extra special case in need of much wider understanding. Schoolchildren should be taught to respect me for what I am. They should be told that some people don’t like butter, or even margarine and other low-fat spreads, and that it is also their right not to have butter.

The “non-dairy consumers” would not want a cheese sandwich, or any sandwich with butter, but I would take a cheese sandwich without butter. I think this proves that information ‘packs’ urgently need to be sent to all businesses that supply food and also to the likes of community halls and churches, where sandwiches may be offered around after an event.

Even churches have their sandwiches smeared with butter. The Lord’s prayer says, “Give us this day our daily bread.”

There is no mention of butter.

Cranmer continues,

We could have a bit of fun with this.

The Equality Bill makes it a legal requirement for all public bodies to consider the impact of all their policies on minority groups.

If churches can successfully be sued for not hiring homosexuals as youth workers, then surely I should be able to take them to the cleaners for not providing me with a butterless sandwich, especially after having had the decency to sit through a sermon without once yawning out loud.

I am seriously considering writing to Harriet Harman about this because I have suffered a lifetime of abuse. Every time a sandwich is produced, I feel picked on; left out; humiliated. And of course, hungry.

I think I stand a fair chance of success. Because butter contains so much fat, the government may see this as the excuse they need to impose a ban on the supply and consumption of buttered sandwiches in public spaces.

Sometimes I catch a whiff of butter when the sandwiches are being passed around. I’m sure the government could find some barmy ‘experts’ who could prove that second-hand butter-whiffing causes obesity.

All in all, then, I think I have proven that I am in need of protection from those who ‘use’ butter as a means of keeping the contents of their sandwiches from falling out. Secondary butter fumes make me nauseous and I leave the venue still hungry while others are full and satisfied.

There can be no equality while my butterless brothers are still being persecuted. I demand justice!