an initiative by the UK Government to halve the number of people smoking by 2010. The strategy includes a crackdown on cigarette smoking.

A crackdown?! You mean a total ban in all enclosed public places is not already a crackdown?

So, what does this latest crackdown entail?

Quite a lot. Labour made a manifesto ‘promise’ to continue to allow smoking in pubs where food wasn’t served. They lied about that and so people have to stand outside if they want a cigarette. Now the Health Secretary, Andy Burnham, also wants to ban smoking in walkways and near the entrances of buildings. Of course, this will increase the demise of the pub trade as even more people decide to stay at home where they can smoke.

But if you smoke, don’t get too comfy in your own home, because the government wants to ban you from smoking in your house and your car if you have children.

It doesn’t take a genius to see that what naturally follows from this is a total ban on smoking in all cars and all homes at all times and from the ban on smoking outside buildings, to smoking outside, period.

So, no smoking inside and no smoking outside. Burnham really doesn’t want us to burn ‘em. (Sorry.) Of course, tobacco products themselves won’t be illegal because the government needs the vast tax revenue. Maybe they reckon that because smokers will have one or two problems trying to find a place to smoke that is neither inside nor outside, that there will be huge scope for issuing fixed penalty fines and thus smokers, as well as funding the NHS, will also be able to pay off the national debt.

Another idea that has been doing the rounds for a while, presumably to condition us to get used to the idea before it is written into law, is for all cigarettes to be sold in plain packaging.

John Walsh writes today in The Independent,

Lastly, he [Burnham] wants to force tobacco companies to drop brand artwork. “Now that we’ve banned advertising and will soon see an end to attractive displays in shops,” says Mr Birdbrain, sounding smugger than a human really should, “the only remaining method of advertising tobacco is the packaging.” He wants to see only plain fag packets in the future. As if that will make a single smoker think: “Oh no! Twenty cigarettes with no mention of the words ‘Marlboro Lights’ anywhere! I’m so horrified, I will cease this filthy habit immediately.” Andy, seriously, if you’re desperate for a cigarette, issues such as artwork don’t come into your head.

Will that be the end of it? Of course not. The little sadists will soon insist on cigarettes being sold singly rather than in packets, to be taken home in brown paper bags, like mushrooms.

Are the tobacco companies worried?

Imperial Tobacco also responded to the UK government’s new Tobacco Control Strategy, which endorses the plain packaging of tobacco products. The company said that it remains strongly opposed to the strategy and that it believes there is no credible evidence that young people start smoking or adult smokers continue to smoke because of tobacco packaging. According to Imperial Tobacco, making all tobacco products available in the same generic plain packaging will further fuel the growth in illicit trade and undermine the government’s plans to increase investment in tackling smuggling and counterfeiting.

And wouldn’t you know that the government is also trying to ‘crack down’ on smugglers of cheap cigarettes?

Good old New Labour, they’re not just there for the nasty things in life. Well, actually, they are. Here we see more of their planned legislation that is contradictory, won’t work, is draconian and that nobody voted for.

Some people even want smokers to be required to pay for a licence before they are allowed to buy cigarettes. No doubt there are also plans to licence drinkers and fast-food junkies.