The Bermuda Rectangle

I have been tagged by Leg-iron to talk about my desk. Like his, it’s somewhat cluttered and things like invoices, gadgets and USB leads can turn up months after their disappearance into the void. I often find something I failed to find previously while searching for something else. I live safe in the knowledge that, because I don’t throw things away, anything I can’t locate straight away will turn up eventually after a future search for something completely different.

It’s like the Bermuda Triangle meets Hiroshima.

The desk itself is a “flatpack” marvel. It only cost £30 and arrived in two heavy boxes. I didn’t attempt to assemble it myself as I knew I would have needed a swear box the size of Robert Wadlow’s coffin. It must have been lying around for about two years, but in 2008, I employed a fifteen year-old boy to help pack orders, and rather cruelly (looking back), the first job I gave him was to have a go at assembling the desk.

I was amazed, when three hours later, the thing was complete. Steady as a rock. It’s still solid nearly three years later.

The main part of the desk has my PC monitor back on it and a new keyboard on the slidey bit underneath. I had to clean these areas up yesterday due to my new PC arriving. It’s not bad at all for just under £200 plus VAT (without a monitor).

To the left of the main desk is a tower of four shelves, each one messier than the last as you go from bottom to top. I’m always snacking, so there are various half-eaten packets of biscuits, crisps and especially chocolate on those shelves. The chocolate gets everywhere. Even my chair has chocolate streaks on it. At least, I think that’s what it is. I have just spotted a Chocolate Orange – the one with volcanic popping candy in it. Eating it is a rather unpleasant experience.

The top shelf has one of those “desk tidy” things: four plastic trays separated by steel rods. I found a brochure in there last week which had been “lost” for about a year. I rediscovered it while looking for something else – obviously. It is the London 2012 Brand Protection booklet from the Olympic organisers. A blogger with an interest in this area wanted to investigate it, so now I can pass on the details. I’m not sure if I have blogged about this before, but the letter accompanying the booklet ordered me not to sell any more Olympic flags before 2013 as it was now illegal in the UK (despite the design being almost a century old) unless one of their money spinning ventures. I had to remove the flags from my website. They also told me to destroy my stock of these flags. Naturally, I have also complied with this instruction. Not.

More on this at a later date, no doubt.

There are three shelves on the right hand side. The topmost has my fax machine on it. I used to get all sorts of junk faxes through it, so fed up with my paper and “imaging film” (ink ribbon) being thieved by these spammers, I registered my fax number with the Facsimile Preference Service and the junk has completely ceased.

Something still works in Britain.

The room itself is a dream. I was amazed the first time I saw it as it is so large. There is a table tennis table in here plus my pool table. The room is fractionally too small for people to play both games at the same time, but I’m not complaining!

Now I must tag others. Some of my choices have already been asked. I’ll go with Caedmon’s Cat and The Marmalade Sandwich in the hope of resuscitating them from their apparent blogging slumber.

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5 Responses to The Bermuda Rectangle

  1. Stewart – I’m waiting for something.. it’s either the muse – or fire in the belly. But probably both.

  2. Stewart Cowan says:

    I know what it’s like, CC. Don’t feel under any obligation. It was nice to have the incentive to write about something unimportant for a change!

  3. James Justice says:

    Isn’t cleanliness meant to be next to Godliness? I thought you’d be tidier than that!

  4. Stewart Cowan says:

    So they say, James. I don’t think it’s in the Bible, correct me if I’m wrong. I would say the desk is messy rather than dirty.

    There aren’t even any old coffee mugs with mould in them, so it could be worse.

  5. Stewart Cowan says:

    Caedmon’s Cat,

    I owe you an apology. You have been blogging – I reckon I must have landed on your second page and so presumed you hadn’t written for a couple of weeks.


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