First Item on Tomorrow’s To-Do List: Telephone the Queen

They have gone and done it. The House of Lords has agreed to same-sex “marriage”.

Unless MPs object to the bill at the eleventh hour during a short Commons debate set to take place on Tuesday, it is expected to receive royal assent within days.

The MPs started it, so they won’t change their minds.

What about the Queen? Will she break her Coronation oath?

Archbishop. Will you to your power cause Law and Justice, in Mercy, to be executed in all your judgements?

Queen. I will.

Archbishop. Will you to the utmost of your power maintain the Laws of God and the true profession of the Gospel? Will you to the utmost of your power maintain in the United Kingdom the Protestant Reformed Religion established by law? Will you maintain and preserve inviolably the settlement of the Church of England, and the doctrine, worship, discipline, and government thereof, as by law established in England? And will you preserve unto the Bishops and Clergy of England, and to the Churches there committed to their charge, all such rights and privileges, as by law do or shall appertain to them or any of them?

Queen. All this I promise to do.

Then the Queen arising out of her Chair, supported as before, the Sword of State being carried before her, shall go to the Altar, and make her solemn Oath in the sight of all the people to observe the premisses: laying her right hand upon the Holy Gospel in the great Bible (which was before carried in the procession and is now brought from the Altar by the Arch-bishop, and tendered to her as she kneels upon the steps), and saying these words:

The things which I have here before promised, I will perform and keep. So help me God.

Then the Queen shall kiss the Book and sign the Oath.

The Queen having thus taken her Oath shall return again to her Chair, and the Bible shall be delivered to the Dean of Westminster.

I will try and phone around and see how far I can get. In 1995, Montreal DJ, Pierre Brassard, managed to speak to her for quarter of an hour while pretending to be the Canadian Prime Minister.

Maybe Real Street is her favourite blog…

The only photograph I could find of the Queen on the phone (1958).

The only photograph I could find of the Queen on the phone (1958).

UPDATE: 16/7/13

I telephoned the Palace and spoke with a girl who sounded like she was about twelve, but there was no way I was getting any further. There were no other departments I could speak with. No other personnel could hear my pleas. I couldn’t even send a fax. If you want to contact the Queen, you have to send a letter. This young lady had her instructions and no prole was going any further through the royal telephony system.

So, I quickly typed out my thoughts and the printer spat out the letter and off it has gone to Her Majesty’s Private Secretary – the Queen mentioned in the third person. I thought I would stick to protocol, even though protocol was run out of town just before the whole tawdry business kicked off.

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