Ed Miliband’s Message for Voters with Very Short Memories

Cracking cheek, Gromit

'Cracking cheek, Gromit.'

I received an email from Ed Miliband’s team yesterday about the ‘bedroom tax’ (I signed up to Labour emails).

Hi Stewart,

[That’s “sir” to you.]

There’s no place for the cruelty of the bedroom tax in Britain today.

[Unlike the cruelty of removing the 10p tax band for the very poorest workers like you lot did – that was fair! Or impose “green taxes” and VAT on gas and electric prices so even more old people die in cold snaps. You’re not very nice yourselves. In fact YOU were Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change at the time of the Climate Change Act 2008, which compels us to reduce our CO2 emissions by 80% of their 1990 baseline figure by 2050.]

The next Labour government will repeal the bedroom tax. It is one part of my bigger commitment to you: to build an economy that works for all working people, not just a privileged few.

[Is that a cast-iron commitment? And aren’t most of the ‘privileged few’ now Labour MPs and peers?]

Labour will always stand up for those who need it, support working people, and speak out against powerful interests.

[Like the EU riding roughshod over us and your Fabianistas in the BBC et al destroying our way of life?]

If you share our vision for a better politics and a better economy — and if you want to live in a society with no place for the bedroom tax — I’d like to invite you to do something to help make it happen.

[Don’t have more bedrooms than I need? Stop voting for the Lib/Lab/Con lying and robbing machine?]

Help kick out the Tories at the next election and show your support for a fairer, better Britain: donate to the Labour Party now.

[Oh, that. Begging time to change from Blue Labour back to New Improved Red Labour.]

Our party is committed to building a brand new politics, one with working people at its heart.

[Hahaha. The reason you were allegedly founded over a century ago and the penny’s just dropped, has it? What a doughnut!]

Across the country, we’re helping grow a movement of people like you who want to live in a Britain better for all. More than 100 full-time Labour organisers are already working in communities from Dundee to Plymouth, helping local residents fight for change.

[People like me? You know nothing about me, but I know what you are: a Marxist traitor.]

Not only is our election campaign going to be run by local communities, but it’s going to be the first in UK political history to be funded by the people. So, want to make history with us, Stewart?

[Funded by the people, eh? Is that because the unions have all given up on you or because you sold all their jobs to the Far East for carbon credits?]

Say you’re in: donate £10 now — or whatever you can — to help Britain get a government that will repeal the bedroom tax and build a fair, thriving economy.

[A good comedian keeps them laughing with the best gag at the finish. Let’s see a return to that fair, thriving economy you built up between 1997 and 2010. Great joke, Ed.]

Thanks for playing your part,

[Thanks for the laughs. Yes, I’m playing my part by attempting to have traitors tried and imprisoned for life.]


[Red Ed, Traitor Trash]


Picture trousered from here.

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